As the Mario Kart series has progressed, you may have noticed that the games have gradually started to feature more and more tracks based on real-world locations. Cities, malls, a bougie ocean cruise, it can all start hitting close to home for a series of turtle shell projectiles.
So with this push into the mundane world, it stands to reason that the various inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom (and even Link) should learn the rules of the road. But which of the myriad Mario Kart racers is most likely to blatantly ignore those laws?
10 Waluigi
Stay off CrossWAHlk
Waluigi is his own man. For better or worse, he's a mystery within and outside of the Mario series, only appearing in games where everyone else is already there. This is helped by the fact that there has never been a standalone Waluigi game. Indeed, he flew the flag of a country.
A sovereign citizen like Waluigi has no regard for human laws. You know he's texting his friend through a one-way street while everyone else keeps giving him respect for how rude it is. He loves causing chaos in the Mario games, so why should the real world be any different?
9 Daisy
How does His Royal Highness plead?
Princess Daisy gives off the air of the kind of royalty that gets things done. He seems to shout everything with the fervor of a little league parent dragged by security. Not a good look for politics, admittedly, but at least she's willing to get her hands dirty.
As such, Daisy seems more like the type who thinks the end justifies the means. As her policies apply, she will likely use any means necessary to reach her destination while driving. Failure to look both ways while walking on the sidewalk is a pedestrian fault.
8 was killed
“Woah, I'll get your badge!”
At this point, there's no way you're thinking Mario is the hottest thing since chopped mushrooms. He has been the face of the media giant for decades and is one of the most recognizable personalities in the world. So why should he be held to the same standards as all the riff-raff?
Mario will bring a rookie traffic cop to tears if they try to give him a ticket. That sweet voice of hers instantly “Don't you know who I am?” area, and then pulled out a nearby stop sign for good measure as he sped off.
7 Lakitu
Hey, you, get out of that cloud
Lakitu has been integral to the Mario Kart series since its inception. He starts the race, helpfully tells you when you fall behind, and saves you from certain destruction when you fall off the track.
But he must have stopped going over his head at this point. Lakitu's cheerful exterior should be a front. He's been enforcing the rules for so long, he thinks he's above them himself. He thinks he deserves more praise, so now it's everyone's problem.
6 Wario
WarioWare: The Breach is underway
Like Waluigi, Wario is a bit of a wildcard. But unlike Waluigi, Wario has his own history of acting roles. So does that mean he's more aware and respectful of those around him when he's out on the open road?
barely Wario thinks he's better than Street Law especially because of his influence. Even before he started the Wario Land series, he has always seen himself as the best. This includes when he is in traffic. So here's hoping everyone else on the crowded freeway near him knows a good detail shop.
5 Donkey Kong
The concrete jungle is not ready
See, there's not much to explain here. Donkey Kong is an ape. Even when racing through the lawless arenas of Mario Kart, he's under no legal obligation to stick to any guidelines. He could be forgiven for getting all riled up about the terrible misuse of bananas.
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The Donkey Kong franchise has seen some quirky iterations and this is a look at some of his greatest outings, from the sterling to the terrifying.
Plop a DK into a midsize sedan cruising the streets of New York and what exactly do you expect? He did not sign up for citizenship. No one gave him a proper look. He's going to get away with all kinds of hem and he gets away with it on air bud rules.
4 Bowser Jr
Even the meanest kid you know can breathe fire
You might be thinking “Wouldn't Bowser be an obvious choice as a lawbreaker?” Well, think about it. Bowser is a ruler. He enjoys a supportive reputation among his subjects. Before you ask, there is no law against kidnapping princesses. There should be, but the law takes time to catch up with the turtle dinosaur that roams the sidelines.
Bowser Jr., on the other hand? That little fart has “wait till my dad hears about this” written all over her. He is already chaos incarnate just by his nature. But put him in a two-ton hunk of motorized metal and no one is safe. This includes the work of anyone who tries to tell him “this is illegal, sir”.
3 Funky Kong
Is Surfboard Street Legal?
Funky Kong is another app planted in the real world among an uncertain public. But unlike Donkey Kong's unfocused mayhem, Funky has goals. It's not clear what those goals are, let's say, but he's doing well.
Funky's confidence is endearing, and he knows it. So probably he gets away with a lot in his time. He tried to tell anyone that, no, the crosswalk in front of the bodega was not the parking lot, and even if he was caught, no jail could hold this Red Simian.
2 Pink gold peach
He has a heavy beef
Who is Pink Gold Peach? He recently appeared in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Mario Sports Superstars as a bulky and powerful character, but we've never seen Peach on him. So it stands to reason that she is a separate entity, and there may be some envy for her name.
A pink gold peach is probably not all that chaotic as a person. But it wouldn't be surprising to see her blast through a red light as a grainy camera catches her and lets everyone know that Princess Peach herself is on a legendary bender.
1 Mii
Humin nature
Each Mii represents a human. People are horrible (except you, you're cool). Therefore, Miis are probably something you already expect to see on any street. The only difference is their oddly creepy proportions.
Of course, this means that many Miis will exist peacefully in society. But you know that guy who tailgates you on the highway for a long way before zooming past at 20 over the speed limit? He is also a Mii.
